mommy (and wifey) blues

Since I cannot sleep (it's only 11:36 in the evening!), I've just decided to blog. About anything I think about in the next hour or so...

Khalel is about to turn 1 next weekend. Imagine that! Parang kailan lang when I learned I was pregnant! Hmm.. Going back to that day... Parang surreal lahat. I remember I cried when I first learned about it ;) Pero nung tine-text ko si Kaye, I told her I was not crying anymore and that I'm actually happy about it. Hehehe. But the weeks after that up to the time I told my parents, sobrang roller-coaster, like, one night I was crying, the other nights I'm fine.

And then now.. it's all good! God is really really really good :) We're finally getting married. And this piece of news, really really really made me happy - like I cannot describe how much it made me happy. It was something unexpected na sobrang woooow, it's really happening. It's a testament that good things come to those who wait. Never doubt, just wait :)

Things are also looking up with Dad. He semi-hugged Jai when he formally asked for his blessing for us to get married. And coming from my dad, the "semi-hug" requires a celebration of sorts! Hahaha. That's my dad for you, I'm beginning to understand more and more why he acts the way he does. He now calls Khalel his "BFF" kasi pag nasa Las Pinas kami, ayaw umalis sa kanya ni Khalel. Hahahaha. Charming little boy - knows whom to suck up to. And I remember that day when we were planning on talking to Dad about the wedding, Khalel was sucking up to him like never before. Hahaha. Nakakapit all day kay Daddy! He really knew he had to work hard to keep Daddy in a good mood. Good job, Khalel!!! That's why I have you in my life, sweetie :)

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I've also realized that living with someone everyday is HARD! It's serious work! Kasi as of presstime, magkagalit kami hahahaha. He's basically a few inches away from me, watching TV, while I'm doing this :P We'll be alright in a few minutes as well, I'm sure, but my point is, things tend to get to you in ways it didn't before if you spend everyday with the same person :P It doesn't make me love him less (and vice versa!! Dapat lang!!!), it's just the way life is :)

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I'm thinking about putting my breastfeeding paraphernalia to temporary retirement (until our 2nd baby comes along.. hihi). It's been a year! I'm not complaining, because I'm a witness to its many many benefits. But it's really tiring... Especially at work.. Because I have to excuse myself every 3-4 hours to use my breastpump. Not to mention I have to lug it around wherever I go, eh mabigat pa naman yung adaptor.. Handbag, laptop, breastpump, the occasional paperbag - you can imagine how I look like going to work everyday. It's true when they say that breastfeeding is a lifestyle, it's something you really have to be committed to, otherwise mahirap talaga gawin. I'm still undecided about stopping though. Maybe I'll keep on going until I die of exhaustion (hahaha exag :)). But all that being said, I'm now a firm believer that breastmilk is good for babies :) Khalel only got sick once the entire year.. while the other babies in the daycare caught the flu and always had colds.

His pedia prescribed fresh milk for him once he turns 1! As in Cowhead, Alaska, etc. Yung nasa tetrapack ba. Which is a lot cheaper than the usual formula. That's good news for the house budget! Hehehe. I'm researching if this is how babies are fed these days, kasi parang hindi kami ganun nung bata kami.. Hmmm. But I really like his pedia (she wears knee-length boots!! Groovy!!) and she's recommended by a lot of mums in GirlTalk so I'll probably follow her advice :)

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Don't you think babies these days are very lucky? They have their whole lives practically saved in some digital medium. They have Facebook, Multiply, Friendster or their parents' external hard drive where they can see their kiddie milestones. Suwerte-suwerte :)

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May mommy sa Unilever na nagkuwento sa'kin ng conversation nila ng anak nya :) Apparently, her kiddo is obsessed with anything Spiderman!

MOMMY: Why are you wearing your Spiderman costume again? We're going to the cemetery.
KIDDO: Because I'm Spiderman nga.
MOMMY: Take it off, mainit.
KIDDO: I don't want, I'm Spiderman nga eh.
MOMMY: Sige, yung top na lang. Kasi mainit talaga.
KIDDO: Mommy, if I take off my top or kahit yung pants lang, I won't be Spiderman anymore. Can't you understand???
MOMMY: Ah hindi, tanggalin mo yan.
(Kiddo reluctantly takes it off and slips into his normal clothes.)
KIDDO: Ok, I'm Peter Parker now.

Bwahahaha. Natawa talaga ako. The kids these days!! I can't wait for Khalel to say the funniest things. But I'll surely miss his baby days :( Yung ngayong age nya, sana ganito na lang sya forever - "talking," walking, knows how to hug and kiss, likes playing with water, likes to dance - ayaw ko ng hindi na nya ako kini-kiss:( My heart will break :(

quality time

Was browsing Facebook just now, and I'm beginning to get really envious of friends who get to travel regularly.. :( While I'm consumed by work day in and day out.

Haaayy..

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I only have a couple of friends whom I'd sacrifice Khalel time for. So until Khalel grows a bit bigger, I'm saying no to all weekend gimmicks as well as all dinners on weekdays - except for my few special friends :) Pero minsan sobrang pagod na talaga ako that I have to say no to everyone.. Nothing personal, and I hope you understand :) Iba na talaga ang buhay may-baby.. and I think only mommies and daddies will truly understand 100% what I'm going through.. It's just the way it is, I think.

Di ko na sya naaabutang gising sa gabi most of the time, so all other nights when I can go home a bit early, I spend it with him :) I'll catch up on nights-out in 1-2 years :)

can't decide..

Would I really be a bad mom if I don't celebrate Khalel's first birthday in a super duper grand way? :(

I want to be practical.. He won't even remember celebrating it years down the road.. I'd rather splurge on a trip abroad when he's a few years older na lang.. Pero siyempre may mga nagsasabi na DAPAT i-celebrate, kasi 1st birthday nga naman..

I'm still undecided :(

diary of a mad bride-to-be (part 1)

So.. I am getting married in 8mos! And we (or should I say, I. Hehehe, peace Jai :)) started planning around a month-and-a-half ago. And I think I've gone mad!!

In all honesty, I have no (as in zero) idea what I want my wedding to be like. I think I wrote it down somewhere here in my blog a looong time ago. As in wala talaga. Of course I do want to get married and have a nice wedding, but the details, I have no preference talaga before we started planning. My wedding gown - which is supposed to be every bride's dream - I have no idea what I want it to look like. Nakakahiya when I go to potential suppliers and they ask what I want the gown to be, I'd just show them pictures of gowns that I think are nice... But I haven't come across a design na woooowwww, this is for me! (I do think though that Vera Wang is a FABULOUS designer! Most of the pictures I have with me are from her website :)) Haaay. I've met with 4 designers so far. I like the last one the most. But I think that's my mad-bride syndrome - the next supplier I meet is alwys better than the previous one. Because after I met with the 2nd designer, I texted Jai "I found my FINAL wedding gown designer!" Bwahahaha. Tapos nung pumunta kami sa pangatlo, ay, mas gusto ko na sya. Hahahahah. And then the fourth :) Arrgh! It's so frustrating to be like this! At member pa ako ng W@W so marami pa akong nababasa na other options na parang, gusto ko sila lahat puntahan :P

I don't really want an expensive wedding gown. I just want something that is so me, you'll know it's me who's wearing the gown the moment you see it. And both Jai and I believe you don't have to pay big big bucks to get excellent quality. Although I would love din to be a Veluz or a Cecilio Abad bride, but Jai won't have anything to wear if I get either of them for my wedding gown alone :P Tee-hee. Anyway, back to the gown... I'm also not too keen on beadwork and lace. I just want something simple. With nice accents. And a nice-looking (ok, sexy) back. I don't know why I'm so picky with the back design of my gown, I just want it that way. Kahit simpleng tela lang sa harap tapos lahat ng beads nasa likod, ok na yun! Or plunging backline na lang (but still decent-looking).

Jai's here, will blog a bit more next time! :)

This will probably be a wedding-and-Khalel-blog until June so I apologize in advance :)

just can't sleep...

I just can't sleep so decided to turn on my computer again. And vent a little....

I just hate people who talk to strangers while aboard a plane. How do you know that the person you're talking to is ok with having a conversation with you???

I was seated near the aisle earlier during the flight to Cebu and the guy at the other end of the aisle kept talking to me!!! He was asking all sorts of questions like, if I was just a student, if I knew this particular resort in Boracay, where I work, how long I've been working there, and on and on!! Grrrrr! I couldn't find it in me to answer rudely, so I ended up answering all his questions. Grrr at myself!

I had to pretend to be asleep the whole time so that he won't talk to me. I hate it because it was hard work, honestly! I had to pretend that my head was dropping to 1 side so that it's a bit more believable. And I hate it more because I badly wanted to eat the salted peanuts they served on the plane :( I took a peek at him from the corner of my eye one time, saw he was asleep, so I decided to open the peanuts. But when I ripped the plastic, he suddenly woke up! So I just got 1 peanut, pretended I just wanted it so I can toy with something in my mouth, and pretended to be asleep again. So the bag of peanuts was left open on my table, eagerly beckoning the flight attendant to dispose of it when they were collecting trash. I swear if the attendant threw the peanuts away, I would slap the face of that guy at the other end of the aisle!

Whatever happened to personal space??? Next time I will bring earphones!

one of the many firsts

I'm in Cebu tonight. And Khalel's in Makati :(

Today is the first day in nearly a year that we're sleeping apart. It feels weird. And not good :( I miss him terribly. I'm concerned how he's sleeping (coz he's used to nursing at night)... I brought his used sando with me so I can still smell him even if we're apart.

I'll be able to sleep for 8hours straight tonight - the first time in over a year - but it comes at a price, as always.

Hay :( Anna here in the office said I might notice Khalel being aloof (or in other words, nagtatampo) to me when I get back. It breaks my heart thinking about it :( Sana hindi naman sya nagtatampo and he'll still be the sweet little baby he's always been and welcome me with a big toothless (not anymore in a few more days!!) grin and a waaaaarm hug. Khalel's really such a sweetie! A brat at times, yes, but a sweetie nonetheless!!!

Khalel, please sleep tight tonight. Take care of Pah :) Pah, take care of Khalel. I love you both very much. I'll see you on Friday :) I miss you!!!! And Pah of course :P

(Now I understand my mom when she leaves all these reminders for all of us when she goes on official business trips, like, Jen, take your meds, Bom, buy this, don't forget this, etc etc. Hahaha :) It's such a cool cycle of things!)

save the date!

June 28, 2010
Monday

:)

Mag-leave ang mga kailangan mag-leave :)