U and me

There's nothing more difficult than:
1) telling my parents I'm pregnant
2) what I went through with Khalel when I gave birth

(Repeat to self a thousand times. And then ask yourself: In 20 years, will this matter? NO.)

I made a terrible mistake last Thursday at work. Which got really out of hand. Which required me to issue a public apology via email. And which is why I spent almost half of my Thursday in tears. And then tomorrow (or in a few hours), I will be facing off with the people I irked.. And nothing scares me more now than the thought of it.

But then... I have already apologized. Is there anything else I can do?

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I let my temper get the better of me last Thursday. This has been happening more often these days.. Which is why I have been thinking about my job. My temper is worsening. And the bad news is, Jai and Khalel seem to be getting the brunt when I get home. I am tired, I am hungry, I am pressured, I am stressed - you get the picture. They hear my complaints every single damn day. I feel bad that I carry this weight on my shoulders (holidays included) and I indirectly want them to carry it with me. Which goes back to my previous point...... My job right now... I have been thinking about it.

Is it still worth it?

Is it still worth the 10-12hr shifts almost everyday? Is it worth not getting to play with Khalel every night because he's already sleepy when I pick him up? Is it worth thinking about my to-dos every day, even weekends and holidays?

To be quite honest, U is not such a bad place to work for. I get paid rather nicely. Which is also one of the reasons why it's difficult to find a new job. I also get fulfillment in what I do in U, that's for sure.. But I can probably find that same fulfillment elsewhere.. I learn new things everyday in U... My boss is BRILLIANT beyond words, and just being in the same team as her is a compliment in itself.

I probably need to do a more exhaustive pros and cons list.. But if anyone... anyone at all.. has an idea where I can work so I can help with our family's finances and still be a good mom to Khalel and a good wife to Jai - I would be more than interested in what you have to say..

raw pic from prenup:)

Prenup session with Nelwin Uy (www.nelwinuy.com)
Tagaytay Highlands

Not too sure about the curly hair and the makeup but I like the backdrop of this one :) This is just a raw/unedited pic so I think it'll look better pa when he's done tinkering with it :)

There are literally hundreds of pics from the session, pero ayaw ni Jai i-post ko, even the nice ones!!! Para surprise na lang daw sa AVP on the wedding day. Hay. But I'll probably sneak 1 or 2 in FB or here:)