HERE remembering 9/11

We visited Ground Zero yesterday (it's just a block away from our place). I initially thought it would just be one of those tourist spots we're going to visit where we can take lots of pictures. Turns out I was wrong.

You feel a certain sense of silent anguish on behalf of everyone in America. And it's been 5 years. I can just imagine how people who actually live right here feel. Suddenly, I somehow understood the intensity of America's fight against terrorism.

The site is anything but happy. Although we're all smiles, reading the timeline of the events that transpired that day was heart-breaking. There were also pictures of US police officers who helped out civilians out of the towers and returned to the building to help more people but died in the process. You just feel for these people even if you haven't met them.

On the right is my favorite picture among all the photos in exhibit. It just cuts across race and color and it's a perfect summary of how we felt like brothers and sisters 5 years ago. It would be great if we could be like that every single day.

I wish everyone would have the chance to visit Ground 0 - it's just an experience like no other. You see the gaping holes and you feel sad and hopeful all at the same time. You think five years ago, people lay dying here, but on the other hand, the lights that surround the site can't mean anything else but new life.

busy as a bee

Now that work has officially started in the office, I have no time for myself anymore. Seriously.

I spent most of yesterday with my trainer, Mike Acosta. When I saw him from afar the other day, I silently wished my eyes were deceiving me because he's this big Puerto Rican guy and I had a feeling he's going to eat me alive if I let my work slip even for just a bit. He kinda looked like someone who's smoking cigaras from an old Mafia movie (I'll post a picture of him when I get the courage to ask him for one). So anyway.. I formally met him yesterday to start our training. The good news is he ain't the big bad guy I envisioned him to be. He sat with me for most of the day to teach me a process he does (details of which I'll not bore you with), and at the end of the day, he jokingly asked where his pasalubongs are. Not bad, right?

So off to home I went, only to realize that I not only have to do my documentation, but I also have to cook my own dinner (again!), wash the dishes afterwards, clean my room, wash some of my clothes then iron some of them. Thinking of it tires me already. Every single day, it's the same thing. Just a couple of hours after I eat, I'm hungry again because of all the other chores I did, but then preparing a meal all over again seems unappealing. I swear I'll buy something from a fastfood restaurant one of these days so I can eat my meal and then just go directly to bed.

And is it just me or does time fly faster here? I swear it does. One minute it's 8am, the next it's already lunch! C'mon, give me time to breath, why don't you?

I am looking forward to the weekend when I can simply be a tourist and write about the places I go to. But then, I have to catch up with my documentation. What the hell did I get myself into?! Scratch that - lest I make you think I don't appreciate the blessings that I get (I know for a fact that atleast one person back there in Manila would kill to be in my shoes). I AM happy to be here, it's just that it gets sad and tiring sometimes (imagine preparing a meal for just one person =(), and I don't get to talk with my family and friends as much as I would like to due to difference in time zones, loads of work that I have to finish, among others. I also realized I am a pampered b*tch back in Manila. I have my Dad to drive me to the office, Ate Bic to wash my clothes and prepare my meals, my Mom for just about everything. Hay. Life is just all about trade-offs. You just can't get everything.

The room with no view

Since the pictures in the website are a tad misleading, here's how my studio looks like (just don't mind my things strewn around). If you turn the corner past the one-seater sofa, that's already the door, and the bathroom is directly behind the sofa. By my estimate, you can cover my whole studio in 25 steps. Oh wait, I just tried walking across the room and it's just 15 steps (from the white wall after the one-seater sofa to the plant slightly shown in the 3rd picture), there goes my estimate! =D






It's really a bit small, much like a typical studio unit in any condo back in Manila, but it's home to me for the next 2 months so... I better be content =) It's not bad really =) Just had high expectations because of the sample pictures they included in their website.

Jetlag please

It's 5am and I'm already awake. You would think I'd be so tired as to sleep for like 12 hours straight, but I'm not. Weird. My body has already adjusted to the time difference, because I'm sleepy by around 11pm and awake at, like I said, 5am. This sucks though. I want to sleep more! I want to feel what jetlag is like!

all alone in a strange city

I can't believe I'm really here in NY (well, United States in general for that matter); it just seems so surreal.

My apartment (yes, I'm all alone in a studio unit, although my friends are in the same apartment too) sadly, doesn't have a great view (all I see are nearby apartments with brick walls), which disappointed me a bit because I was looking forward to sitting by the window and pretend I'm doing a music video =P But as a consolation, I have a nicccceeee bed with 4 big pillows, yahoo! I also have a nice chocolate brown couch in front of a big television, wee!

That said, my sipon is literally dripping out of my nose because of the cold weather, bbbrrrr! It's 13 degrees today and still dropping. We went for a quick lunch at Burger King and shopped for some groceries - it took just about an hour but I kept on huffing and puffing because the wind kept on coming at us. I'm fast getting sores all around my mouth, which I really hate, because they're so painful and nasty to look at =( I have to get home before winter unless I want to die of hypothermia here.

Anyway, some highlights the past 2 days:
BUSINESS CLASS - I'm not at all picky, but travelling for close to 20 hours should really be in Business Class. From the personal TVs to the barcaloungers, Business Class is it. I cannot imagine how I'd be able to sleep if my seat can't be extensively reclined and if my personal space is too limited. I hate airplane food though (kahit Business Class pa yun) - or probably it's just Korean food I hate, yii! And airplane lavatories - how do people fit in there?! Oooh, and you get to have free snacks at airport lounges if you're travelling Business Class =)

GROCERIES - It's a bit depressing to shop for my own groceries. I have to budget my money and not splurge too much on chips and chocolates. For the meantime, I just bought several fruits, eggs, beef franks, chicken nuggets, microwavable pasta, and drinking water.

FOOD - I have this fear that I might end up eating fastfood all the time, and Burger King for my first meal here is indeed a step towards that direction. Waa! I want to gain weight but not supersize-me-uber-cholesterol proportions ha! I'm dying to visit Serendipity resto, Carmine's, etc.

LIVING ALONE - It's scary. Two men knocked on my door about 30mins after I checked in, and I was so afraid that they were going to mug me. Turns out they were sent by the Management to put some stuff in my kitchen and bathroom. There's also nobody to to cover my ass, just in case. I have to cook for myself, wash my own laundry, iron my clothes, fix my things, etc. It's both nerve-racking and exciting.

HOME - I miss Manila =( I miss my family. Back at NAIA, I thought they were going to be able to accompany me up to the check-in area, but they were asked to leave right before I entered the airport. I only had time to give each of them a quick hug before they left =( Even just one day here re-affirms my belief that Manila is my home.

I'm off to bed now, catch you guys tomorrow! =)

DO YOU ALREADY KNOW?

When you know that you know who you love, you can't deny it

Or go back, or give up, or pretend that you don't buy it.

When it's clear this time you've found the one, you'll never let him go

Cos you know and you know that you know

When you feel in your skin in your bones and the hollow

Of your heart, there's no way you can wait till tomorrow

When there isn't any doubt about it once you come this close

Cos you know and you know that you know

You can feel love's around you like the sky 'round blue

This is how love has found you, now you know what to do

When you know that you know who you need, you can't deny it

Or go back, or give up, or pretend that you don't buy it

When it's clear this time you've found the one, you'll never let him go

Cos you know and you know that you know

And it's time you come in from the cold

And you know that you know.

- When You Know

Shawn Colvin

Serendipity OST

When it's your last...

It was my last weekend at home before I'm shipped off to la-la-land.

Surprisingly, instead of playing couch commando the entire weekend, I felt happy doing household chores even without my mom telling me to do so. I'm usually holed up in my bedroom during weekends, abusing my bed until it begs for a slight reprieve. Maybe it's the thought that if I help out a bit, I'll spend more time with them, even if only passively.

Here's a run-through of how my weekend was like:

Friday evening
- dinner with Dong

Saturday
- woke up at 9am (this is major news since I usually sleep till 11am-noon every Saturday)
- picked up Tonette from her violin lessons in Seton
- dropped of Tonette and Mom at Greenhills
- went shopping with Dong at Shangri-La Mall
- heard mass with Dong and Mikey (okay, Magsy daw dapat)
- had dinner at home
- watched Philippine Idol Performance Night
- asked Dong to go home around 1am
- slept around 2am

Sunday
- woke up at 9am again
- packed my things (it's impossible to fit everything in 2 check-in luggages, hello!)
- helped with lunch preparation
- had lunch with family
- helped Tonette with homework
- went out to have a haircut
- had dinner at home
- washed the dishes
- re-packed my things (hehe)
- watched Philippine Idol Elimination Night (Drae!!! =()
- slept around 3am (couldn't sleep again)

Surprise, surprise, no catnaps the entire weekend! I am so going to miss my bed =( But my family and friends even more so =( Makes me want to not leave...

7 more years to go...

Whatever you do, don't ever ever come up to me and greet me with a "weight" comment. Hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit hilig nating mga Pinoy yung ganun - "Uy, tumaba ka" (yun nga lang, kung ito ang sasabihin mo sa'kin, I'll gladly welcome it!), "Ang payat mo!!!" (with matching up-and-down body stares), etc.

Wala lang.

I have to endure continuous ribbing about my weight everytime I transfer to a new environment (but funnily, my friends in my previous company never put me through that.. aawww, I miss them all of a sudden.). If I can place a gigantic billboard on my forehead that says "It's in my genes", I'll do it. And it irritates me that everyone seems to think I enjoy being this thin - for the record, I do not. I've been to different doctors asking for their expert opinion and they all said the same thing: "Ganyan ka na talaga, pag 30 years old ka na tataba ka rin." - HUWATTT?!?

So until such time that I can blow out 30 candles in my birthday cake, please give me a break about my weight. P-L-E-A-S-E.

si Milenyo talaga o!

This Luzon blackout has made me realize how much I take water for granted =(

Instead of the usual water tank that almost everybody has, we rely on our electric water pump to supply us with our much needed bathroom-water everyday. Ergo, no electricity, no water. Waah!

Since the blackout lasted around 3 days for us in our village (some parts of Luzon only had to experience a day or two of no electricity, no fair!), we had to make do with the water that's left in the water pump, and mind you, it ain't plenty! The supply only lasted us 1 whole day, so my dad had to think of creative ways to come up with our bathing water.

Rationing bathing water is definitely not easy. Imagine knowing beforehand that you only have to make do with a half-full pail of water =( Then I remember all the times when I would just splash around and stay in the shower for hours. Hay.

I know the saying "You never know the value of what you have unless it's gone" usually only applies to loves lost but it sure did apply to me last weekend =(

mababaw pero..

This is one song I've loved from the very first time I heard it. Both the lyrics and the melody are simple, but it still makes me smile everytime I hear it. It also serves as my reminder to never grow old in such a way that I forget these kinds of happiness.

Happiness is two kinds of ice cream
Finding your skate key, telling the time
Happiness is learning to whistle
Tying your shoe for the very first time
Happiness is playing the drum in your own school band
And happiness is walking hand in hand

Happiness is five different crayons
Knowing a secret, climbing a tree
Happiness is finding a nickel
Catching a firefly, setting him free
Happiness is being alone every now and then
And happiness is coming home again

Happiness is morning and evening
Daytime and nighttime, too
For happiness is anyone and anything at all
That's loved by you

Happiness is having a sister
Sharing a sandwich
Getting along

Happiness is singing together when day is through
And happiness is those who sing with you