not exactly a fan

I was watching SHARON last weekend, and her guests were Eddie Gutierrez and Annabelle Rama. I am not sure if their appearance was planned to coincide with the Yilmaz-Ruffa brouhaha or if the show was taped in advance, but it was pretty fitting for the "issues" (or rather, chismis) as of the moment.

Anyway, what struck me about their interview was what Eddie Gutierrez said in the latter part of the interview. Sabi niya, "Akala ni Annabelle, sya ang naka-jackpot sa'kin. Pero ang totoo lang, ako ang naka-jackpot sa kanya."

Aawww.

It's no surprise to me if people think that Annabelle got the better deal out of the two of them. Heck, even I think that. Eddie Gutierrez is so pogi at ma-charisma, while Annabelle's infamous only for her palengkera ways. I guess she makes up for it by taking really good care of her family. Plus she's the type whom you'll hate from a distance, but if you're the one she's defending, you'll suddenly see her in a different light.

I'm not exactly a fan of hers now, I don't think I ever will be, but I admire her love for her family :) Tried and tested :)

give me something concrete

The past couple of weeks have been pretty crappy. What's been primarily bothering me is this feeling of helplessness. I don't like it.

There's been important things going on with my family and friends, and the best I can do is offer my listening ear. And whatever advice I can think of at the moment.

How I wish I can do something more.

If I can be in two places at one time, I would. I'd fly to California and hug my friend. I'd stay at home and sleep beside my mom. I'd accompany my friends to the doctor. And if only I can, I'd lock my room and have a nice long talk with myself (I'm not crazy ha).

It just hurts that I worry about them, yet I don't think the message gets through. Or even if it does, there's nothing tangible I can give to alleviate their pain.

sick

I am not feeling well. I haven't taken a bath for 2 days straight and my hair's all nappy. Yik.

Ang kulit kasi, mag-beach ba naman 2 weeks in a row at lahat ng meals na kainin ko, panay mango shake ang kasama. Nag-ice scramble pa parati.

My fever got as high as 38.6 yesterday - it's the first time in a long long time that I've had fever, kaya medyo natakot ako kahit konti. But then I remembered I had my flu shot during my first week in New York, so that might be why I haven't been sick.

I don't like being in bed all the time :(

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Parang ang daming nagkakasakit ngayon. Siguro dahil paiba-iba na yung weather. Am glad Jela's finally out of the hospital and Jen's doing better than what we initially thought.

Hope to see you guys soon, feels like I haven't seen you for ages!

true

Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked with anyone else.

uncertain

I was told once that I tend to love too much. Truth be told, I am not sure what that means.

What is too much? How do you define too much when you talk about love?

Granted, I may have done stupid things for love, but I still won't brand it as too much. I'll just tuck them away in my pocket and make sure that they are lessons learned. That's what they are for me - lessons learned. I choose to do them because I wanted to, because the receiving party was still worthy of it at that time. I don't find any fault in that.

Yes, it makes me think sometimes. And there are times when I consciously try to be aloof. It never works. Everytime I do that, I end up miserable the whole day... Which leads me to conclude that I know only one way to love and that's "too much."

If I end up losing in the end, I realize I don't really care. I believe that whatever I get in life is exactly what I give out. I'd rather give too much and lose a couple of times over - atleast I know in time, I'll find someone who'll think I deserve his "too much" also.