kahirap naman sagutan

Grabbed this from Jela :)

Name: Eleanor Kristine G. Sy
Age according to your birth certificate: 23
Age you really think you are: Mmm, 19. Not too immature, not too mature din.

1) What are 5 things you really like about yourself?
What’s there to like?! This is tricky:
- Once I set a goal for myself, I'll do everything possible to achieve it.
- I'm loyal.
- I'm willing to work hard for my dreams; I don't want things to be given to me free-of-charge, I want to earn it.
- Low-maintenance.
- I'm organized and I remember the smallest details (although bad din 'to paminsan).

2) What is one accomplishment you are really proud of that you can't ever write down in your resume?
- Wala akong maisip eh :(

3) If you could live a secret life, what kind of secret life would you live?
- Makati girl by morning / CSI-wannabe at night (at gusto ko walang makaalam na CSI ako hehehe)

4) What is the loveliest thing someone's told you lately?
- "You're enough reason na." (At something else na ayaw ko na ishare)

5) What is the most supreme act of kindness ever shown to you?
- Ay, I get it everyday from people who care. Patience.

6) What is your inner child wearing right now?
- Yung mga "ballgowns" ko dati nung bata pa ako, yung tipong Sunday dresses namin ni Manang na dapat terno pa kami :) Halatang sucker for dresses :)

7) Describe the very moment you first fell in love.
- That was a long time ago. Tipong, I remember the boy but I don't remember the feeling anymore. Hahaha. Hmm, I guess it'd be the same feeling as the 2nd time I fell in love - tipong excited ka at natatakot at the same time. The 1st time, however, was more based on dahil kinikilig lang ako dahil may boyfriend na ako and it grew from there.

8) Describe your favorite person without using any adjectives.
- My team lead. Bwahaha.

9) Complete the sentence on your future headstone: "Here lies...."
- (di ko talaga alam :()

10) What movie character would you love to play?
- Richard Gere in Primal Fear (I wanna know what it feels like to defend something/someone to death and discover that he was fooling you all along); Ziyi Zhang in Memoirs of a Geisha (Ang lungkot lang kasi, parang ang dami niyang dinaanang hirap and all that with her one true love in mind); at kung anumang role ni Cherie Gil na may sampalan at sagutan. Hahahaha.

11) Describe your perfect birthday cake.
- Yung mango ref cake lang - graham crackers, cream & condensed milk, mangoes :) Or yung Mango Bravo sa Conti's. Basta may mangoes na buo-buo.

12) A stadium of people are clapping for you and giving you a standing ovation. What did you just do to deserve this?
- Sa stadium ba talaga? Pwede bang maraming tao pero wala sa stadium? May nang-aaway sa'kin in front of a group of people tapos nasagot ko siya nang hindi ko siya binabastos sabay lakad palayo. Hahaha. Ma-drama ang buhay ko kunwari!!

The lucky 13 question: If you were a musical instrument, what instrument would you be and how would you like to be played?
- A big harp. Played close to the body all the time and gently strummed.

Totoo ba...

... na naiinis ka lang sa mga tao na kagaya mo? As the saying goes, galit ang magnanakaw sa kapwa magnanakaw. Totoo ba yun?

Minsan feeling ko, oo. Minsan feeling ko, hindi.

Kasi naman, nakakainis talaga yung ibang tao. Kagaya yung girl na binanggit ko dun sa earlier post ko. Kaya pala ako naiinis sa kanya kasi may ginagawa siya dati na di ko talaga maintindihan kung bakit niya ginagawa. At alam ko na never ko yun gagawin sa buong buhay ko.

Tapos, alam niyo yung mga tumatawag sa phone tapos pag tinanong mo kung sino, ang sagot lang eh "friend po niya." Leche. Bawal ba ibigay ang pangalan??!?? Tapos ang kapal pa ng mukha maging demanding at kung anu-ano pa ang tinatanong - "Asan ba siya? Pumasok na ba siya talaga?" Dude, it's a fair world, kung marami kang gusto malaman, magbigay ka rin ng info tungkol sa sarili mo - ganun ba kahirap sabihin ang pangalan mo??! Ay, tinatarayan ko talaga yung mga ganun! Merong mga tumatawag na ganyan para sa kapatid ko sa bahay, ay, hindi ko binibigay hanggang di nagsasabi ng pangalan. Ewan ko ha, pero never ko pa yan ginawa sa buong buhay ko. At wala akong balak gawin ever. Kahit weird ang pangalan ko at ang dami kong naririnig na "Ano po ulit?" pag binanggit ko na yung pangalan ko, hindi ko talaga yun gawain. Kaya naiinis ako. Feeling ko kasi walang respeto yung mga ganun.

Arrrgh, kainis!!!

At naalala ko pa kanina yung driver ng FX na sinakyan ko, naka-sleeveless ba naman!!! Tapos yung sleeveless pa niya, yung butas, parang abot sa tiyan. Eh dun pa naman ako sa harap sumakay, katabi ko siya. Haay. May GoodMorning Towel pa siya at punas nang punas ng katawan (take note, katawan talaga ha, as in hindi lang yung leeg at ulo) niya dahil pawis na pawis. Aarrrgghhh, sana may law sa Pilipinas na nagbabawal sa mga lalaki na magsuot ng sleeveless, unless nasa bahay sila o di kaya nasa beach.

Eh siyempre yung example ko sa Manong Driver, di na applicable dun sa original na tanong ko kasi babae ako. Pero hmpfff, ayan. Basta.

the time in-between

As you may know by now, Stepmom is one of my favorite films. If you ask me why a couple of years ago, the best I can come up with is that it makes me cry even after watching it for the nth time. Yun kasi minsan ang definition ko kung maganda yung movie - kung naiyak ba ako - kasi feeling ko, if I cry, it means I was moved, ergo, it's a good movie. Hehehe. And even if there's someone else in the room who's with me, the hell I care, I'll still cry. I have this weird notion in my head that the movie will make anyone cry, kaso di naiyak si Jai nung pinapanood ko sa kanya. Hmpf, bato ata yun eh. Hmpfff.

I realized lately that there's another reason why I like the movie: I can relate to the young girl, Anna Harrison. There was this scene when Susan Sarandon told Julia Roberts that Anna needs time, all the time. When she gave birth to her, the labor took hours. The doctor wanted to come and get her, but Susan declined, because she knew Anna was on the way and just needed time. Funnily enough, my mom endured close to 24hrs of labor (I think) when she was having me. Anna also despised Julia Roberts in the beginning, but she learned to accept and love her as time went by.

I realize I'm very much like Anna in the movie. I can be very stubborn at times and you can't force me to do something talaga - you have to give me time to settle down and do it on my own time, on my own terms. It may sound selfish, I know, but that's just how I am. I feel bad when I make people wait, primarily because they don't deserve to wait. Pero I can't help it :( But once I've crossed that line, there's no going back, best-friends-forever na ang drama ko. It's this feeling that if you were brave enough to stick it out with me during the worst times, you deserve my best. If you believed that I have something more to offer, you deserve my best. If you were patient enough to wait, you deserve the best.

Yun lang - I need time ha.

For making you wait,
For all the times that I try your patience,
For not reaching out more,
For being impatient,
And for asking for more time still,
I'm sorry.

And THANK YOU!! I'll make sure the wait is well-worth it :)

There's this girl in the office that I don't like. Basta.

Tapos alam niyo yung parang, everytime I see someone walking down the hallway from my peripheral version and I turn to look, parating siya yung dumadaan. Walang palya. Tapos nakatingin din siya sa'kin. Grr. So baka feeling niya tinitingnan ko siya. Hmmpff. Yuck. Hahaha. Tapos may time na nag-teambuilding yung office namin tapos nasa malayong-malayo siya tapos tamang may konting commotion banda sa area niya so napatingin ako, tapos nakatingin siya sa'kin.

Hindi ko alam kung imagination ko lang or talagang nagkakataon lang na nagkakatinginan kami and it just sticks out from the rest precisely because I don't like her. So baka the feeling is mutual. Hehehe.

Ranting na naman :( Nangyari kasi ulit ngayon eh. Hmmpff. At gusto ko malaman kung nangyayari rin ba sa inyo yung ganito.. Yung tipong kung sino na nga yung ayaw mo eh yun pa yung nakakabangga mo ng tingin. Grrr.

Survey lang muna ha, kailangan ko mag-de-stress :)

The Life Survey

SAD SECTION:

01. Have you ever really cried your heart out?
~ Iyakin ako eh... So oo :)

02. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
~ Oo din :)

03. Have you ever cried on your friend's shoulder?
~ Mmm, konting iyak lang kina Jen at Jela. Pero yung hagulgol, kay Manang lang at kay Jai.

04. Do you cry when you get an injury?
~ I've never had an injury na sobrang sakit. Never pa rin ako na-hospitalize.. So, no.

HAPPY SECTION:

01. Are you a happy person?
~ In general, yes, I think so. Pero pag nag-emote na ako, pataaaay. Takes a while before I go back to my happy state.

02. What makes you happy?
~ Text :) Letters. Emails. Anything I can read, basically. Small surprises. Chex Mix! Taho :) Babaw lang lahat :)

04. Is being happy overrated?
~ Nope :) Everybody should be happy.

05. Can music make you happy?
~ Mmm, I like listening to music but it doesn't have the power to change my moods. Pag malungkot nga, that's when I like listening to sad music all the more :)

LOVE SECTION:

01. How many times have you had your heart broken?
~ Mmm, I sincerely do not know. No 1 big heartbreak, pero countless small ones. Bobita kasi ako :) Hahaha. No more heartbreaks, be it small or big, I hope :)

02. Anyone besides your friends/family ever said they loved you?
~ Yup!

03. Have you ever told someone you loved them?
~ Ay, all the time!

HATE SECTION:

01. Who do you actually hate?
~ Konting inis or irita lang... I don't hate anyone.

02. Have you ever made a hit list?
~ Mmm, list ng kinaiinisan ko, oo. Na dapat ilalagay ko sa blog na 'to (no specific names, siyempre) not for them to read it, pero pang-labas lang ng hinanakit :)

03. Are you a mean bully?
~ I'm not a bully. Tahimik lang akong supladita.

05. Have you ever been on a hit list?
~ I hope not! Pero siguro oo.

SELF- ESTEEM SECTION:

01. Are you happy with yourself?
~ Mmm, generally, yes. Pero kelangan ng improvements all the time :)

02. Do you wish you could be someone else?
~ Not anymore. I realized it's futile to ever hope for that, because it's never going to happen at nalulungkot lang ako. And I think I'm a decent enough person na naman :)

i'm getting old....

.... or I'm getting un-healthier. May ganun bang term?? Hehehe.

Parang pagod ako parati, grrr. Nag-bowling kami ng officemates ko last week at kapagod yung 2 rounds.. Tapos kanina, nag-window shop ako sa Glorietta at napagod rin ako. Hehehe. But it might also be because I haven't been to Glorietta in ages!! Dati halos araw-araw andun ako, ngayon, sobrang madalang na lang. Haaay.

Anyway, the trip to Glorietta was necessary because I need a nice "formal" dress for a wedding in November. Can anyone give me tips where to go?

:)

sad sad :(

Blocked na ang meebo at e-buddy dito sa office :( Sad.. :( Di ko na nga makita yung chatbox ko diyan sa gilid :(

Maya-maya, baka pati Friendster at Multiply naka-block na rin... Haaay. Ano na kayang source of entertainment at pampalipas-oras namin dito sa office pag hindi busy?

Little Manhattan

Was hit by insomnia a couple of nights back, so I decided to go through our (pirated) DVD collection. You can never force me to watch a scary movie all alone in the middle of the night, so I settled for Little Manhattan instead.

It's all about two kids, Gabe and Rosemary, aged 10 and 11 respectively, who found themselves falling in love with each other in the Big Apple. Well, actually, I'm only certain of Gabe's feelings towards Rosemary; whether or not Rosemary feels the same way, I am not sure.

Yeah yeah, what do kids know about love, right? If sometimes, as adults, we question if we really do know what love is all about, what more kids?! Actually, I laughed out loud when Gabe told Rosemary he loved her at the end of the film, because he looked so earnest saying it, as if his life depended on it. And yes, at the back of my mind, a voice kept saying, it's not the end of the world, buddy.. Dami mo pang kakainin na bigas bago ka makaramdam ng true love. Hehehe :)

There were some scenes though that stuck out. They were searching for an apartment for Gabe's dad. On their way home, they decided not to take the subway and instead used Gabe's scooter for around 60+ blocks. And, NY blocks are not in any way comparable to Manila blocks where they're only several feet apart. Malayo yung pagitan ng blocks sa kanila. But it was heart-warming when Gabe said he didn't even feel the least bit tired because Rosemary had her arms wrapped around his waist the whole ride.

In a weird way, it's exactly what we go through when we're a bit older - we don't mind the pains, the constant squabbling, the occasional tears, because we know what we have on the good days is soooo much bigger and sweeter than anything that can ever happen in a bad day. Ako minsan guilty for taking note of the bad days rather than the good days or the bad things rather than the good things, so I was touched by the purity of the emotion that Gabe felt. And I wonder why it escapes us as we grow old.. Feeling ko talaga, our focus gets shifted to the trivial things that we lose sight of the bigger picture. Example ako... Naiinis ako pag may nakakalimutan si Jai na mga bagay-bagay and I sometimes let it consume me rather than think about all those other days when I'm being my usual bratty self and he never loses his patience with me. Instead, he'll go out of his way to turn my frowns into smiles.

Kids' pains are trivial in a sense that it's something simple as bruising a knee, being picked last in gym. But they forget about it and concentrate on the bigger things. We might say our pains as adults are not trivial, because they usually concern finances, loss of trust, lack of communication, glaring differences... But I feel they become trivial when we consciously remind ourselves that there are more important things present in our lives.


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Since the setting of the movie was Manhattan, I couldn't help but get nostalgic over NY (funny, it feels like it was just yesterday but the truth is, we flew out around Oct 13 of last year...). You know those moments when you see places in a movie that you've actually been to? I was like, uy, Soho yun! Uy, subway! Uy, Central Park!

It's a bit bittersweet, because I'm leaving, and any possibility of going to different places with Jai just got thrown out the window. I know we can still have trips out of the country but we would be spending our own money na. It's different when you're spending the company's money, because you almost have no constraint on finances, so you can go wherever you want to go :) Hehe. On the bright side, puwede na kami sabay mag-leave :) That's a good thing :)