the time in-between

As you may know by now, Stepmom is one of my favorite films. If you ask me why a couple of years ago, the best I can come up with is that it makes me cry even after watching it for the nth time. Yun kasi minsan ang definition ko kung maganda yung movie - kung naiyak ba ako - kasi feeling ko, if I cry, it means I was moved, ergo, it's a good movie. Hehehe. And even if there's someone else in the room who's with me, the hell I care, I'll still cry. I have this weird notion in my head that the movie will make anyone cry, kaso di naiyak si Jai nung pinapanood ko sa kanya. Hmpf, bato ata yun eh. Hmpfff.

I realized lately that there's another reason why I like the movie: I can relate to the young girl, Anna Harrison. There was this scene when Susan Sarandon told Julia Roberts that Anna needs time, all the time. When she gave birth to her, the labor took hours. The doctor wanted to come and get her, but Susan declined, because she knew Anna was on the way and just needed time. Funnily enough, my mom endured close to 24hrs of labor (I think) when she was having me. Anna also despised Julia Roberts in the beginning, but she learned to accept and love her as time went by.

I realize I'm very much like Anna in the movie. I can be very stubborn at times and you can't force me to do something talaga - you have to give me time to settle down and do it on my own time, on my own terms. It may sound selfish, I know, but that's just how I am. I feel bad when I make people wait, primarily because they don't deserve to wait. Pero I can't help it :( But once I've crossed that line, there's no going back, best-friends-forever na ang drama ko. It's this feeling that if you were brave enough to stick it out with me during the worst times, you deserve my best. If you believed that I have something more to offer, you deserve my best. If you were patient enough to wait, you deserve the best.

Yun lang - I need time ha.

For making you wait,
For all the times that I try your patience,
For not reaching out more,
For being impatient,
And for asking for more time still,
I'm sorry.

And THANK YOU!! I'll make sure the wait is well-worth it :)