It's nearly 11pm and I'm resurrecting my blog with this post. I just need to rant - not for anyone to sympathize with me but just to let it out of my system.
Our previous househelp left because she said she wants to go home to finish school. Jai's parents found her for us in Zamboanga. That's another story, but she became very close to Khalel and although she's not the perfect househelp, we trust her at home and with Khalel. And up to now, Khalel still looks for her. She left sometime in July and when she left, I told Jai maybe we could live without a househelp for a while because I liked doing things on my own and I also treasure peace and quiet without having to worry if the househelp has already eaten, what she's doing, if she's ok, etc. Or maybe we could just hire a stay-out househelp who'd come in every weekend to wash clothes and clean the house. But I was pregnant (and couldn't iron clothes for the life of me!) so Jai decided we needed a fulltime househelp. His officemate recommended an agency that promises househelp even on the same day you'd call them. This is their website: http://www.maidagencyphilippines.com/. They were true to form; Jai called them lunchtime and before I came home from work, a househelp was already at home.
This was July 17, 2012. Yes, wala pang 2 months. Magaan naman yung loob ko sa kanya in the beginning. She was very diligent and respectful, to say the least. She would wash our bathroom every day, which was a bit weird for me and I felt baka sayang lang sa tubig. She also washed our kitchen clean and would always clean our room immediately after we wake up. I just got creeped out a few times because she would text me "Ingat po kayo Ma'am, nag-aalala po ako sa inyo." (apparently because I was pregnant and carrying too many bags to work) Wala lang.
Soon after, when I'd call her to ask for something, her reply would be "O!" or "Mmm!" -- which, I felt, was uncalled for and bordering on disrespect. I never answer that way to my supervisors - pero pinapalagpas ko lang because I thought baka hindi naman sila well-educated to know that it sounds a bit bastos. Jai also told me to call her attention to it if it's really making me uncomfortable but I decided against it. These replies came not just once but several times in her first month. After a few instances, medyo naiinis na talaga ako and I found myself thinking na plastic sya because when my parents or Jai's parents are here, she answers super duper nice pero pag kami na lang, dun lumalabas yung "O!" at "Mmm!" I'm not asking for the moon here; I told her not to call me "Ma'am" because I find it uncomfortable but she insisted on it.
One afternoon, I went home early from work because I wasn't feeling well. I gave her P1,500 so she can buy some groceries. That same night, I was brought to the hospital and had to be confined for 3 days. When I got back from the hospital, I asked for the receipt and the change. The receipt said my change should be P400 but she only handed me P100. Her excuse was pinambili daw nya ng sabon. Okay. I let it go and did not tell Jai, but I felt discomfited especially because I already asked her a couple of times before then if she lacked toiletries so I can buy it for her. She said no. I also told her she can use the shampoo/soap/toothpaste in the bathroom. And P300 was a bit too much to spend on toiletries, right? I asked for the receipt of the toiletries she bought, she said wala daw.
After a week, she sheepishly/pa-cute-ly asked if she can advance P1.5k because she needed to pay SSS for several months' worth of contribution. I said I'll ask Jai but I was really just buying time -- actually, I couldn't believe she's asking for an advance when she's only been with us for 2 weeks!!! But Jai agreed kasi kawawa naman daw. But she texted me kung puwede daw P2.5k na lang. I met her in the middle and let her borrow P2k. She asked if she could go to Pasig to hand the money to her sister/brother who takes care of her SSS. Overnight. I told her to go home early the next day - only because she has only been with us for 2 weeks and pa-overnight-overnight na sya. At 10am the next day, she said she'll be a little late because she has to "mail" the money pa to the province. Eh akala ko ba andun na sa Pasig yung pagbibigyan nya ng pera?? Hindi ko na lang sinita but I was fuming inside. I hate it when househelp lie. Puwede naman magpaalam nang maayos.
During one of our weekend visits to LP, we brought her with us. Apparently, she told our househelp there na "maraming chocolate si Ma'am Bom sa bahay" kaso walang Coke. And upon seeing the row of Coke cans in the pantry at LP, she asked our househelp if she can open 1. Our LP househelp, true to form, told her not to open anything kasi sya nga (our LP househelp), only eats/drinks "luxury" items pag kami yung unang nagbukas. And that LP househelp of ours has been with us for 12 something years na.
One day, I was out running errands and I texted her that I opened the windows but should it start to rain, she should close them. I did not expect any reply, but she replied and told me she acknowledges and that she got P30 from our dresser because she had no load to reply to my text. Omygod. I was driving and I felt the blood rush to my head. I was tempted to reply rashly but opted to save it in drafts and wait for a while. When I did reply, my reply was pretty straight to the point. I told her not to get money BEFORE we tell her it's ok. She apologized and said it won't happen again. But I was still very upset. We always leave loose change lying around the house for emergencies and she's the ONLY househelp who has the gall to get some for herself. Pero in fairness to her, nagsabi sya - but only after the fact.
All these happened during her 1 month stay with us. In the time she's been with us, yung pagsagot nya ng "O!" at "Mmm!" -- patuloy pa rin, which really really really irked me. So minsan admittedly, nasusungitan ko sya. I should have called her attention right from the start. Our water bill also doubled because of her frequent laundry and super-duper OC bathroom cleaning (even if I've already told her to just wash it 2x a week or kung marumi na talaga) and who knows what else. I knew she was scheduled to do the laundry the next day, so I texted her the night before and told her to proceed with the laundry the next morning but if she could try to save on water and on detergent (Tide and Downy) because our water and grocery bill increased for the month. I phrased my text to make it sound like I was asking for her help because she's part of our team. The next day, I think nasungitan ko sya nung umaga. She went to her room and after a few minutes, I received several texts from her. Wag ko raw sya hanapan ng grocery kasi kailangan din naman daw nya kumain ng 3x a day and sobrang pagtitipid na raw nya sa tubig, minsan daw hindi na nga sya naliligo (WTF!!!). And isa pa raw, wag ko raw sya sungitan kasi madali daw sumama ang loob nya (at the back of my mind, I was thinking, it's my prerogative kung gusto ko magsungit!). I had no choice but to talk to her. She was crying. What the hell. I made it clear na hindi pagkain yung sinasabi ko sa grocery - I meant grocery items, such as Tide, Downy, dishwashing liquid, Zonrox, etc (every week since she arrived, I had to buy Downy and Zonrox!!!). I apologized for the times na sinusungitan ko sya and I told her it was because of her disrespectful replies to me. She apologized and we made peace.
Sometime in between all these incidents, she borrowed P100 to buy load. Grabe na ha, ginagawa nya akong alikansya. So far, what I've given to her are the ff: P300 from the grocery change, P30 for load na kinuha nya sa dresser, P2k advance, and this P100. And imagine, wala pa syang 2mos sa amin! But that's not all! 2 days ago (yes, 2 days ago), she told Jai she got P20 from our loose change again to buy load. OMYGOD. Yes, di na kami natuto at nag-iwan pa rin kami ng change, pero akala ko ba hindi na mauulit?!? And why does she need so much load in the first place?!? Hindi marunong magtipid? I explicitly told her in our face-to-face conversation that she has to conserve her load. Sabi ko suggestion lang naman na tipirin yung load kasi mas important yung ipapadala nya sa mga anak nya.
And then today! Hay! I bought special monggong hopia for myself yesterday. I'm 5mos++ pregnant, always hungry. 4 pcs yung laman, I ate 2 last night as midnight snack, and when I was about to eat the 2 other pieces this morning, 1 na lang yung natira :( I know 1pc sounds small, but still! And there are other food issues as well:
1) My brother once bought 5 pcs Spanish Bread for me. That same afternoon, I ate 2 pcs. I happily left the 3 other pcs on the table, and I wouldn't have mind if she ate it for herself. Pero yung kinakainis ko is she "hid" the remaining 3pcs sa kadulu-duluhan ng taas ng ref, presumably para hindi ko makita and she can have it for herself. Tama bang magtago ng pagkain sa amo??
2) She ate 1 whole bar of white Toblerone that's meant for me.
3) Nagpaluto si Jai sa kanya ng corned beef for breakfast. Pagdating daw kay Jai, sobrang konti na lang (and Jai knows the portion kasi mahilig sya sa corned beef), kasi kumuha na sya for herself. It sounds silly, yes, pero sana nagpaalam diba? Or sana nagsabi sya na gutom sya, so Jai could've said na 2 lata na lang yung lutuin.
4) Nagbukas si Jai ng Spanish Sardines. One bottle costs P130-150. He does not eat everything in one go, so I usually keep the leftover in the ref. When he wanted to eat the rest, isang piraso na lang yung natira :( While all the rest of the delata I buy for her, andun lang sa likod ng cupboard.
5) Jai opened a medium-sized Piknik last night. When he opened it again this morning, ang una nyang reaction ay "ikaw ba kumain nito?" (pertaining to me) and showed me an almost-empty canister.
I have a free-for-all policy when it comes to food in the ref/pantry. I do grocery usually every week to restock our pantry, and I ensure there's tasty bread on the table and local chips/biscuits for merienda. I told her when she's left alone, she can just cook whatever she wants from the freezer. I've read stories about homeowners locking their ref/cupboard kasi garapal yung mga katulong kumain. Hindi kami ganun. I never even label our food. Kung anong ulam namin, yun din sa kanila. They can eat with us for all I care. They can consume all the iced tea/juice they like. Pero sana marunong pumosisyon. Wag kakain ng mamahalin unless nagpaalam na sa'min or we've told her explicitly that she can eat it. I don't know yet how to talk to her about it, especially after what she told me na wag ko sya hanapan ng groceries kasi kailangan din nya kumain 3x/day. Sana lang, sana lang talaga, alam nya ang posisyon nya sa bahay. I do not belittle her role, but some of the food are really just meant for us. Hay, help, Lord. Jai helped me kanina because I told him about my hopia (and he knew I was really looking forward to that hopia) and apparently, he told her off already and even mentioned the almost-empty Piknik canister. Hehe. Go, Jai!!!
We're thinking of letting her go already. Yung advance nya na P2k, I told her I'll deduct it on an installment basis and so far, I've only deducted P500 -- kasi nga diba, wala pa syang 2mos sa amin. But we're almost 100% sure we're letting her go by Sept mid-month and we'll just get the remaining P1.5k from her salary. I just hope the agency can replace her without billing us for agency fees (which was P5k the last time).
Right now, I'm secretly hoping she leaves in the middle of the night or when we're at work, just so I don't have to deal with her anymore. She's just added stress, which I really don't need at this point in my pregnancy. Sinusungitan ko sya the whole day today and just this evening, lumabas sya ng kwarto nya to eat and to wash the dishes nang pasinghot-singhot. Baka sumama na naman ang loob nya sa pagsusungit ko. Rawr.
I promise to write about more positive things in my next entry. I guess the whole point of my entry is this - where have all the good househelp gone? Our current househelp in LP has been with us for 12 or so years. Before her, we had a househelp who stayed with us for mga 12 years din before she decided to go home and get married. The househelp in Jai's parents' house has been with them for 4-5 years. I keep asking myself kung ako ba yung problema. I'm not perfect and admittedly, I can be masungit. But I only become masungit pag may hindi ako nagustuhan sa ginawa. Maybe my fault in all of this is I should've confronted the problem WHEN IT HAPPENED, rather than keeping it to myself and nilalabas ko as pagsusungit. By doing so, I also let the incidents balloon waaay out of proportion.
If I were to choose, I'd still choose someone from the province -- mas madaling turuan, mas ma-respeto, and more often than not, mas mura yung suweldo. I mentioned that our current househelp is very OC in cleaning the house, I give her that much. Kaya rin kami nahihirapan mag-decide if we will let her go or not. But I would rather deal with a dirty house than deal with someone whom I cannot get along with. I can teach anyone how I want the bathroom cleaned; mas mahirap ituro yung tamang pag-uugali.
Our previous househelp left because she said she wants to go home to finish school. Jai's parents found her for us in Zamboanga. That's another story, but she became very close to Khalel and although she's not the perfect househelp, we trust her at home and with Khalel. And up to now, Khalel still looks for her. She left sometime in July and when she left, I told Jai maybe we could live without a househelp for a while because I liked doing things on my own and I also treasure peace and quiet without having to worry if the househelp has already eaten, what she's doing, if she's ok, etc. Or maybe we could just hire a stay-out househelp who'd come in every weekend to wash clothes and clean the house. But I was pregnant (and couldn't iron clothes for the life of me!) so Jai decided we needed a fulltime househelp. His officemate recommended an agency that promises househelp even on the same day you'd call them. This is their website: http://www.maidagencyphilippines.com/. They were true to form; Jai called them lunchtime and before I came home from work, a househelp was already at home.
This was July 17, 2012. Yes, wala pang 2 months. Magaan naman yung loob ko sa kanya in the beginning. She was very diligent and respectful, to say the least. She would wash our bathroom every day, which was a bit weird for me and I felt baka sayang lang sa tubig. She also washed our kitchen clean and would always clean our room immediately after we wake up. I just got creeped out a few times because she would text me "Ingat po kayo Ma'am, nag-aalala po ako sa inyo." (apparently because I was pregnant and carrying too many bags to work) Wala lang.
Soon after, when I'd call her to ask for something, her reply would be "O!" or "Mmm!" -- which, I felt, was uncalled for and bordering on disrespect. I never answer that way to my supervisors - pero pinapalagpas ko lang because I thought baka hindi naman sila well-educated to know that it sounds a bit bastos. Jai also told me to call her attention to it if it's really making me uncomfortable but I decided against it. These replies came not just once but several times in her first month. After a few instances, medyo naiinis na talaga ako and I found myself thinking na plastic sya because when my parents or Jai's parents are here, she answers super duper nice pero pag kami na lang, dun lumalabas yung "O!" at "Mmm!" I'm not asking for the moon here; I told her not to call me "Ma'am" because I find it uncomfortable but she insisted on it.
One afternoon, I went home early from work because I wasn't feeling well. I gave her P1,500 so she can buy some groceries. That same night, I was brought to the hospital and had to be confined for 3 days. When I got back from the hospital, I asked for the receipt and the change. The receipt said my change should be P400 but she only handed me P100. Her excuse was pinambili daw nya ng sabon. Okay. I let it go and did not tell Jai, but I felt discomfited especially because I already asked her a couple of times before then if she lacked toiletries so I can buy it for her. She said no. I also told her she can use the shampoo/soap/toothpaste in the bathroom. And P300 was a bit too much to spend on toiletries, right? I asked for the receipt of the toiletries she bought, she said wala daw.
After a week, she sheepishly/pa-cute-ly asked if she can advance P1.5k because she needed to pay SSS for several months' worth of contribution. I said I'll ask Jai but I was really just buying time -- actually, I couldn't believe she's asking for an advance when she's only been with us for 2 weeks!!! But Jai agreed kasi kawawa naman daw. But she texted me kung puwede daw P2.5k na lang. I met her in the middle and let her borrow P2k. She asked if she could go to Pasig to hand the money to her sister/brother who takes care of her SSS. Overnight. I told her to go home early the next day - only because she has only been with us for 2 weeks and pa-overnight-overnight na sya. At 10am the next day, she said she'll be a little late because she has to "mail" the money pa to the province. Eh akala ko ba andun na sa Pasig yung pagbibigyan nya ng pera?? Hindi ko na lang sinita but I was fuming inside. I hate it when househelp lie. Puwede naman magpaalam nang maayos.
During one of our weekend visits to LP, we brought her with us. Apparently, she told our househelp there na "maraming chocolate si Ma'am Bom sa bahay" kaso walang Coke. And upon seeing the row of Coke cans in the pantry at LP, she asked our househelp if she can open 1. Our LP househelp, true to form, told her not to open anything kasi sya nga (our LP househelp), only eats/drinks "luxury" items pag kami yung unang nagbukas. And that LP househelp of ours has been with us for 12 something years na.
One day, I was out running errands and I texted her that I opened the windows but should it start to rain, she should close them. I did not expect any reply, but she replied and told me she acknowledges and that she got P30 from our dresser because she had no load to reply to my text. Omygod. I was driving and I felt the blood rush to my head. I was tempted to reply rashly but opted to save it in drafts and wait for a while. When I did reply, my reply was pretty straight to the point. I told her not to get money BEFORE we tell her it's ok. She apologized and said it won't happen again. But I was still very upset. We always leave loose change lying around the house for emergencies and she's the ONLY househelp who has the gall to get some for herself. Pero in fairness to her, nagsabi sya - but only after the fact.
All these happened during her 1 month stay with us. In the time she's been with us, yung pagsagot nya ng "O!" at "Mmm!" -- patuloy pa rin, which really really really irked me. So minsan admittedly, nasusungitan ko sya. I should have called her attention right from the start. Our water bill also doubled because of her frequent laundry and super-duper OC bathroom cleaning (even if I've already told her to just wash it 2x a week or kung marumi na talaga) and who knows what else. I knew she was scheduled to do the laundry the next day, so I texted her the night before and told her to proceed with the laundry the next morning but if she could try to save on water and on detergent (Tide and Downy) because our water and grocery bill increased for the month. I phrased my text to make it sound like I was asking for her help because she's part of our team. The next day, I think nasungitan ko sya nung umaga. She went to her room and after a few minutes, I received several texts from her. Wag ko raw sya hanapan ng grocery kasi kailangan din naman daw nya kumain ng 3x a day and sobrang pagtitipid na raw nya sa tubig, minsan daw hindi na nga sya naliligo (WTF!!!). And isa pa raw, wag ko raw sya sungitan kasi madali daw sumama ang loob nya (at the back of my mind, I was thinking, it's my prerogative kung gusto ko magsungit!). I had no choice but to talk to her. She was crying. What the hell. I made it clear na hindi pagkain yung sinasabi ko sa grocery - I meant grocery items, such as Tide, Downy, dishwashing liquid, Zonrox, etc (every week since she arrived, I had to buy Downy and Zonrox!!!). I apologized for the times na sinusungitan ko sya and I told her it was because of her disrespectful replies to me. She apologized and we made peace.
Sometime in between all these incidents, she borrowed P100 to buy load. Grabe na ha, ginagawa nya akong alikansya. So far, what I've given to her are the ff: P300 from the grocery change, P30 for load na kinuha nya sa dresser, P2k advance, and this P100. And imagine, wala pa syang 2mos sa amin! But that's not all! 2 days ago (yes, 2 days ago), she told Jai she got P20 from our loose change again to buy load. OMYGOD. Yes, di na kami natuto at nag-iwan pa rin kami ng change, pero akala ko ba hindi na mauulit?!? And why does she need so much load in the first place?!? Hindi marunong magtipid? I explicitly told her in our face-to-face conversation that she has to conserve her load. Sabi ko suggestion lang naman na tipirin yung load kasi mas important yung ipapadala nya sa mga anak nya.
And then today! Hay! I bought special monggong hopia for myself yesterday. I'm 5mos++ pregnant, always hungry. 4 pcs yung laman, I ate 2 last night as midnight snack, and when I was about to eat the 2 other pieces this morning, 1 na lang yung natira :( I know 1pc sounds small, but still! And there are other food issues as well:
1) My brother once bought 5 pcs Spanish Bread for me. That same afternoon, I ate 2 pcs. I happily left the 3 other pcs on the table, and I wouldn't have mind if she ate it for herself. Pero yung kinakainis ko is she "hid" the remaining 3pcs sa kadulu-duluhan ng taas ng ref, presumably para hindi ko makita and she can have it for herself. Tama bang magtago ng pagkain sa amo??
2) She ate 1 whole bar of white Toblerone that's meant for me.
3) Nagpaluto si Jai sa kanya ng corned beef for breakfast. Pagdating daw kay Jai, sobrang konti na lang (and Jai knows the portion kasi mahilig sya sa corned beef), kasi kumuha na sya for herself. It sounds silly, yes, pero sana nagpaalam diba? Or sana nagsabi sya na gutom sya, so Jai could've said na 2 lata na lang yung lutuin.
4) Nagbukas si Jai ng Spanish Sardines. One bottle costs P130-150. He does not eat everything in one go, so I usually keep the leftover in the ref. When he wanted to eat the rest, isang piraso na lang yung natira :( While all the rest of the delata I buy for her, andun lang sa likod ng cupboard.
5) Jai opened a medium-sized Piknik last night. When he opened it again this morning, ang una nyang reaction ay "ikaw ba kumain nito?" (pertaining to me) and showed me an almost-empty canister.
I have a free-for-all policy when it comes to food in the ref/pantry. I do grocery usually every week to restock our pantry, and I ensure there's tasty bread on the table and local chips/biscuits for merienda. I told her when she's left alone, she can just cook whatever she wants from the freezer. I've read stories about homeowners locking their ref/cupboard kasi garapal yung mga katulong kumain. Hindi kami ganun. I never even label our food. Kung anong ulam namin, yun din sa kanila. They can eat with us for all I care. They can consume all the iced tea/juice they like. Pero sana marunong pumosisyon. Wag kakain ng mamahalin unless nagpaalam na sa'min or we've told her explicitly that she can eat it. I don't know yet how to talk to her about it, especially after what she told me na wag ko sya hanapan ng groceries kasi kailangan din nya kumain 3x/day. Sana lang, sana lang talaga, alam nya ang posisyon nya sa bahay. I do not belittle her role, but some of the food are really just meant for us. Hay, help, Lord. Jai helped me kanina because I told him about my hopia (and he knew I was really looking forward to that hopia) and apparently, he told her off already and even mentioned the almost-empty Piknik canister. Hehe. Go, Jai!!!
We're thinking of letting her go already. Yung advance nya na P2k, I told her I'll deduct it on an installment basis and so far, I've only deducted P500 -- kasi nga diba, wala pa syang 2mos sa amin. But we're almost 100% sure we're letting her go by Sept mid-month and we'll just get the remaining P1.5k from her salary. I just hope the agency can replace her without billing us for agency fees (which was P5k the last time).
Right now, I'm secretly hoping she leaves in the middle of the night or when we're at work, just so I don't have to deal with her anymore. She's just added stress, which I really don't need at this point in my pregnancy. Sinusungitan ko sya the whole day today and just this evening, lumabas sya ng kwarto nya to eat and to wash the dishes nang pasinghot-singhot. Baka sumama na naman ang loob nya sa pagsusungit ko. Rawr.
I promise to write about more positive things in my next entry. I guess the whole point of my entry is this - where have all the good househelp gone? Our current househelp in LP has been with us for 12 or so years. Before her, we had a househelp who stayed with us for mga 12 years din before she decided to go home and get married. The househelp in Jai's parents' house has been with them for 4-5 years. I keep asking myself kung ako ba yung problema. I'm not perfect and admittedly, I can be masungit. But I only become masungit pag may hindi ako nagustuhan sa ginawa. Maybe my fault in all of this is I should've confronted the problem WHEN IT HAPPENED, rather than keeping it to myself and nilalabas ko as pagsusungit. By doing so, I also let the incidents balloon waaay out of proportion.
If I were to choose, I'd still choose someone from the province -- mas madaling turuan, mas ma-respeto, and more often than not, mas mura yung suweldo. I mentioned that our current househelp is very OC in cleaning the house, I give her that much. Kaya rin kami nahihirapan mag-decide if we will let her go or not. But I would rather deal with a dirty house than deal with someone whom I cannot get along with. I can teach anyone how I want the bathroom cleaned; mas mahirap ituro yung tamang pag-uugali.
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