unwell

I'm exhausted.

We're going on 3mos without a yaya-slash-househelp. Trying to do everything on my own (and the usual delegating of some chores to Jai) because I don't want to burden other people with house chores. Kaso ang hirap talaga. Maybe if I were a housewife, ok lang.. But no, I have to work... And at punishing hours at that. I wonder how Sara does it in the US? :(

I do enjoy doing household chores.. It reminds me of my first and foremost role in life - mother and wife. Pero sa kakulitan ni Khalel at sa late nights sa office, it's just impossible to do it with a happy heart all the time. I can feel my body complaining. Migraine's been visiting me more often now.. Pimple on my nose (again! Pimple, I have a wedding to attend (hahaha) in June, pleaaaassseee go away.). Can't seem to sleep.. And when I wake up, I feel like I haven't slept at all.. Maybe I am getting old na talaga :(

On another note, I am still emotionally troubled. I cried over it with Jai 2 days ago. He said he didn't think it has been affecting me this much - well, think again, my dear. I do think it's one of the reasons I'm not feeling well. We've talked about it already.. I said my piece, he said his. He's right, as usual. Have made steps to hopefully forget this *bwisit na* phase. C'mon, 1) it's not my life, 2) it's as if I don't have enough to worry about!!!

I wonder - am I stupid for letting it affect me this much? Why am I so affected anyway?????!!