warning: superficial post ahead

I like attention.

There. It's difficult to admit it.

Don't get me wrong. I don't suffer from ADHD (or whatever it's called) nor do I want the spotlight to be always on me. On the contrary: 1) I hate it when my dad fusses over me all the time, 2) I prefer to be part of the production team rather than be one of the actors, 3) I don't like being picked to talk in front of a crowd (never mind if it's a church or a school or a committee of sorts). If you happen to come across pictures of me when I was young and performing in front of a whole lot of people (my Kindergarten teachers thought I was talented. Yuck.), you'll notice that I'm never smiling, or if ever I was smiling, it's more of a I-have-to-do-this-my-teacher-and-my-mom-are-looking smile. Pilit, kumbaga.

You know that girl who walks around with no care in the world but who's just jaw-dropping gorgeous that everyone (boys and girls alike, including me) turns to stare? Sometimes I wish I can be that girl, other times, I think I'll pass - because it is extra attention. But it won't hurt if I catch a person or two taking an extra look, right? C'mon, everybody, and I mean everybody, has that *secret* fantasy.

It's also probably why I got highlights. My hair is a bit blah - no curls, just plain ramrod straight that can never be a conversation piece - so I thought I'll add splashes of color so that I'd get noticed a little better. But my stupid stylist (just kidding, he's actually very good) thought, let's put the highlights in places where it can't be seen, unless I want to be flipping my hair to the opposite side every now and then (think Cameron Diaz in There's Something About Mary when she had Ben Stiller's thing on her hair) and catching outrageous looks from passers-by. Or let's have you buy a spotlight that you can shine on your head for the highlights to be obvious. Just great.

To clarify, I like attention but not extra attention. I want to stand out but not so much so that everyone's looking at me as if I was a specimen under a microscope. I want 2nd glances but not lingering stares. That about sums it up.