Ang iniiiiiit. Imposible makapagpahinga sa ganitong init.
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Sad that Sara left already :( Parang di kami masyado nagkita at nakapag-usap :( Would have loved for it be just like old times, but circumstances permit otherwise. These are some of the signs we're really growing up; we have our different priorities already. Happy to see our group together again (although we're still missing Angela) but a bit sad that we can't spend all our free time with each other. The last how many years have been a blur, really, and you can't capture that over one cup of coffee.
I know I'll still see them though :)
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On that note, Alvin and Sara's wedding was wonderful :) Watching the video is a bit icky kasi naman, kinunan pa ako na umiiyak. Aside from their personal vows (hmpf), something about their wedding made me cry.
I saw Tito Tey, warm, supportive, and loving as usual.. And I can't help thinking... If it was me getting married, ganun din kaya? I can't find that confidence within me to say yes, it will be the same. And it hurt so bad, because you have this dream, this fantasy, and you're not sure if it'll happen. Not like my "big" dreams about Greece ha, but the simple ones that I've always thought will surely happen - they're somehow drifting away. I'm not sure if I'll ever get them back.
I have no concrete plans for how my wedding will look like. I have zero plans... No idea what colors I want, where I want it to be, what food will be served, which dress I want, wala talaga. But just that portion - where everyone's HAPPY, everyone's PRESENT - it's supposedly non-negotiable. And I'm so scared that the absence of it will negate everything else.
No regrets, don't mistake my sadness for regret. Sad lang talaga.
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At first I kept thinking, it'll get better in time - like how everyone tells me it will be... But it's been how many months already, and things are still the same. I'd like to be a believer, but a voice keeps saying, "Don't."
Resentment is slowly starting to seep in. Haaay, happy thoughts..
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5 comments:
bombaaaaaa =( nakakasad naman nung nabasa ko...
Don't worry about not having an idea of what your wedding will be like. Ako din naman, I had no idea even when I got engaged. I just knew I wanted a simple one but nothing else beyond that. It took me at least a month or two to even get started kasi wala naman akong alam. Until now, I still don't have everything figured out.
I think it just falls into place one thing at a time.. when you start looking at venues, you'll have a better idea of what colors will go with it and the type of wedding you'll want to have. It's important to focus on what will make you happy whether it be a small, intimate wedding at a church you love or by the beach or wherever.
Things have a way of working out ;)
Tama yan - just think happy thoughts. It's okay to feel resentment and that sense of hopelessness when you think that things are not improving, but don't let those feelings overcome you. No one can promise you that things will get better - but that should not stop you from going on, right?
I'm here for you. :) And we miss you na. :)
A big hug for you Bomsky! :)
:::hugs:::
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